How to Speak Romance Like Zoomer: Fifty-One Hyperspecific Terms for Romance, Sex and Bad Behaviour
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- By Linda Kelly
- 11 May 2026
Alright, what did you think of this year in your household? Could it be described as all as good as you pretended on online? Overflowing with academic success for the children and wild costume birthday parties for the adults? Or was it a ocean of frustration with only sporadic fun moments? Could any part be authentic, or have we all become seven-fingered virtual entities with perfect smiles?
I've corralled my thoughts for a chat, whether they wanted to or not, to discuss the crucial thing in any given year: what titles we enjoyed the most. So here goes:
Horizon Zero Dawn
"Why can't you pick just one?"
"This isn't my games column."
On her phone, she's invested time in Cityscapes and "trying to find reasonable healthcare."
"Virtually?"
"In reality."
Overwatch
"I don’t play games on my phone." He was offended that the question was posed. Point taken.
Resident Evil Biohazard
Her goal is to get into theatre school, but when she took a break from vocals, she was playing Resident Evil. She also elaborated in great detail about her achievements on The Sims, where her character has a thriving utopia with far better healthcare than her eldest sister has outside the game.
Crash Bandicoot: It’s About Time
She began the year at 60% completion and ended it at eighty-two percent. It's a long haul not a sprint for her. Her mobile diversion: something called Woodle, where you have to extract pins.
Minecraft
Every time I see my 21-year-old son playing Minecraft, I rib him like a cross between a persistent critic. When he objects, I reply that I am engaging in this to build character so he can grow up and play games for grownups. This defines our Scottish father/son relationship.
Eldest Daughter on Just Dance 2024
It wasn't even close for this one. She is unstoppable. More impressive than I was at Dancing Stage MegaMix in my prime.
Marvel Snap
It was in a league of its own to the hours I spent on this exceptionally well-crafted deck building digital pastime, with its constantly evolving range of cards and game variations.
Marvel Snap
The catch about games that frequently update their range is you wake up one day and understand it is all just an attempt to trap you with fear-of-missing-out driven microtransactions. So love turned to hate halfway through the year and it got uninstalled.
Doom: The Dark Ages
Stunning reinvention of a classic franchise. Immersive atmosphere from the off. I wish I could eviscerate my demons so effectively in real life.
Blue Prince
I refuse to rush this stunning, original game and I just lacked the time or headspace to give it what it deserved earlier this year. With holiday guests over the festive period, I aim to experience this in the wee small hours after evening drinks.
Balatro
I know Balatro was the previous year's sleeper hit, but I was slow on the uptake. And it is remarkable. It just gets absolutely everything right. The core concept is a wonderful concept, but the powers behind the different special cards are so inventive it has become a game I literally would play at any hour. Throw in the cleverness of the card design, and this is an definite high-water mark of gaming. I dream of being stuck in a elevator for hours just so I have an opportunity but play it.
Outer Worlds 2
I endured a minor pile-on when I wrote about how a specific bug in another game damaged the experience for me, but that other title is still a colossal gaming achievement in terms of art, sound, acting – which I valued even more after experiencing Outer Worlds 2. So thank you to the reader who took the time to contact me to say that my Outer Worlds 2 review was "bitter, confused resentment". I mention that verbatim, because I appreciate the effort, and she is obviously an excellent judge of character.
Hollow Knight: Silksong
Alright. Give me a bastard-hard exploration-focused thing and don’t tell me guidance on what I am supposed to be doing, except "look around". How delightful. I acknowledge that it looks ace and is flawless if you are into this kind of thing, but I cannot think of a gaming experience I want less of in my current stage of life. I was around back when most games were like this, and I’ve had enough. It was fine when I was a kid, but the same could be said for many outdated things.
Toss-up between business deals that caused concern, and premium pricing. Both difficult to justify and repugnant.
Clair Obscur, Despelote and Bananza would all make interesting names called from the doorstep at tea time.
Right Thumb Joint. Seriously. I don’t know if it’s because of button mashing or phone use, but it is sore like anything in the mornings now. I knew I should have got my thumbs insured back in the day.
Grand Theft Auto VI.
And it will come out in 2026, even if we have to make 2026 last until the heat death of the universe.
The Witcher 4.
A tech enthusiast and gaming aficionado with over a decade of experience in digital media and content creation.